Tag Archives: nyc

My week in LA (Waiting for my close-up pt. two)

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I may be a stereotypical cynical New Yorker, but I think the people in LA are a little too nice. Even the crazy homeless people looked like they lived off of organic kale smoothies and pure sunshine. It freaked me out. Wait, let me back up a bit… 

When I started my blog, one of the first things I wrote about was how there are very few depictions of people living with HIV from this century on TV or film. Things are changing, like the Eddie on Looking, but mainly if we see anyone on TV or in the movies with HIV it is someone with AIDS from the 80s who is covered in lesions and probably dying of some bizarre bird flu. Don’t get me wrong, these stories are our history and there should be a place for them, but there also needs to be a place, in contemporary media, for our current stories. The stories of the normal everyday guy, trying to live and love, who just happens to be HIV-positive.  Continue Reading…

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Not Saying NO

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I have been living my life even more like a hermit since becoming a single dad of the sweetest pitbull pup. I finally had a real excuse not to go out – “Oh I’m sorry I have to go home and walk the dog.” I would stay at home alone with my trusty pup and all was right with the world. Well…all was right except for my love life.

Roughly two months ago, when we had our first glimmer of nice weather and, before we got another load of snow dumped on us, I caught a bit pf spring fever. I made the decision to not say no. I was going to accept any and all invitations and re-join the normal human race. No matter how much I want to stay home and cuddle with Mr. Bingley (my pitt).

Soon after I made this declaration, one of my favorite people at my crossfit gym invited all the gay boys there (which is a lot) to go to this dance club for his birthday. It was called Brüt. Take whatever imagery you have in your mind that the name evokes, and you pretty much have the essence of the party. Now this was typically not my scene, but I jumped at the chance and had an amazing time. There were half naked sweaty boys dancing all around me, how couldn’t I have an amazing time? I was even cajoled to take of my shirt, which I promptly put back on in 30 minutes, but I was still proud none the less! (Continue reading…

 

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Nobody Likes a Showoff

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I know I blame my HIV status on my subpar dating life. But in reality there are much bigger factors at play that have nothing to do with being positive and everything to do with me being socially awkward.

It all comes down to one simple fact. I don’t know how to talk to guys I am attracted to. Stupid, I know. There are two things I expected to get better with age –  my complexion (which has it’s good days and bad) and social competency or  the act of talking to men. I am two years shy of forty and I find myself living in a perpetual junior high school hell. Continue Reading…

 

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Becoming a Daddy

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Recently my world shifted from the mid-thirties to the late thirties. I’ve never really cared about it because age is just a number, right? I mean, I’m in the best shape of my life and look better than people much, much younger.  My age never crossed my mind until a random twink who wasn’t even old enough to witness the most important sporting event of my youth  – the Tanya Harding, Nancy Kerrigan kerfuffle! – called me a ”Daddy”.

A Daddy? Really? When I think of a “Daddy”, I think of this incredibly sexy older man, with rippling muscles and a nice furry chest – who may or may not be wearing leather chaps and a harness. Ok, maybe I have a hairy chest and I am two years away from the big 4-0, but I am no “Daddy.” Well, that is not quite the truth anymore…..Continue Reading

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Top 10 Gay Dating Blogs of 2014

I was named one of the top 10 dating advice blogs! Which I find mildly funny, mostly because I don’t give advice, I just rant about my rather pathetic dating adventures. Nevertheless, I am still very happy for the acknowledgment .

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How We Expect When We’re Expecting

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I have written before about expectations as applied to the lead up to the first sexual encounter with a new date. But in this world of technological dating, we are often left with an entirely new brand of expectations – the first face-to-face meeting.  These virtual expectations, whether good or bad, can actually keep us from enjoying things as they truly are.

In my previous entry I wrote about fate and how it was taking me to Brighton, England for Gay Pride and more importantly, to meet a boy that I had been talking to every day for the past three months. Yes, three months! Talking to includes: texting, sending videos back and fourth and Skyping. I would like to put on the record that while there were some flirtatious messages, there was nothing that I would be too embarrassed to show my momma. This was a first for me!

So by the time I hopped on that Virgin Atlantic flight across the pond, I thought I knew every detail of his being. I knew the meanings in his different laughs. I knew his little side smirks. I saw the sadness in his eyes when he was telling me about his father’s open-heart surgery. “I know him so well” I told myself. I did not allow myself to account for the flesh. No, you dirty birds; I’m not talking about sex, yet. I’m talking about him as a real three dimensional human being. Continue Reading…

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Fuzzy Bunnies [The Unatainables Part One]

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Why is it that the most unattainable guys are the ones we are most attracted to? I’m not talking about the guys who we think are so gorgeous they repel anything less then themselves. No, I am referring to the men, who for one reason or another, we can never have. In the past couple weeks I have had two very different kinds of unattainables. 

A couple of weeks ago a new friend of mine, Charles was performing in a new play.  The only thing I will say about the production was that his performance was amazing, and I trust you will understand my implications. Afterwards, I was invited to have drinks with his friends.I have decreed that I am going to try to be more social this summer and thus going forward I am not allowing myself to use “doing laundry” as my excuse for not going out on a Friday night. So I said yes.

After the play we all walked to a nearby bar and I randomly made the decision to sit next to the boy with the biceps the size of cantaloupes. It was a valid choice that I stand by. His name was Malcolm. At first, Malcolm had no intention in speaking to me. In fact he had no intention to speak to anyone based on his complete enthrallment with the glowing light of his iPhone. So I chatted with some other new people and was starting to feel like part of the group.  Then Malcolm put down his phone and noticed me and the night started to change.  Continue Reading…

 

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