Tag Archives: New York

How We Expect When We’re Expecting


I have written before about expectations as applied to the lead up to the first sexual encounter with a new date. But in this world of technological dating, we are often left with an entirely new brand of expectations – the first face-to-face meeting.  These virtual expectations, whether good or bad, can actually keep us from enjoying things as they truly are.

In my previous entry I wrote about fate and how it was taking me to Brighton, England for Gay Pride and more importantly, to meet a boy that I had been talking to every day for the past three months. Yes, three months! Talking to includes: texting, sending videos back and fourth and Skyping. I would like to put on the record that while there were some flirtatious messages, there was nothing that I would be too embarrassed to show my momma. This was a first for me!

So by the time I hopped on that Virgin Atlantic flight across the pond, I thought I knew every detail of his being. I knew the meanings in his different laughs. I knew his little side smirks. I saw the sadness in his eyes when he was telling me about his father’s open-heart surgery. “I know him so well” I told myself. I did not allow myself to account for the flesh. No, you dirty birds; I’m not talking about sex, yet. I’m talking about him as a real three dimensional human being. Continue Reading…


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A Clean Slate


After my recent dabble into domestication I was determined to start actually dating again. And I don’t mean the kind of dating that happens from a gentlemen’s socializing network – you know the ones where you are lucky if you get their first names. Don’t get me wrong, I had enjoyed those for quite some time, but I am just looking for something real now. I am looking for those 1950’s inspired kind of dates. So I dusted off my OkCupid account and took a gander at who is out there.

I saw the name and I was drawn in like some classic literary reference. Then I saw the pictures. Wait can this be true; smart and sexy? I started with a small note telling him that I enjoyed his profile. Low and behold, he responded. We chatted back and forth for about a month. We tried to get together various times, but first his schedule did not cooperate, and then my schedule did not cooperate. Continue reading…

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The First

Ah, the First. No, I am not referring to the final foe of Ms. Buffy Summers. Even though this particular First can cause as much carnage and mayhem as The First Evil, I am referring to the First Love.  You know, the boy that broke your heart so bad and no matter how many evil things he might have done, you still remember him fondly. And even though I wasn’t meant to spend the rest of my life with, I am somehow cosmically connected to. Yes. That First.

He wasn’t the first guy I dated. That happened when I was sixteen and just coming to terms with my sexuality and I was lucky enough to find another fledgling gay boy. So, obviously it was love  – or at least that is what I thought. This ridiculous notion seemed to carry me through my next couple of relationships in college. Continue Reading…


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Nearly everybody gets twitterpated in the springtime. For example: You’re walking along, minding your own business. You’re looking neither to the left, nor to the right, when all of a sudden you run smack into a pretty face.”

I was still on Cloud  9 for days after my first date with Martin, the South African. Unfortunately for me, Martin, who was in the process of getting his MFA in creative writing, had absolutely no free time. And to make it worse, the following weekend he was going on trip to DC, then had houseguests, and was then taking a long weekend trip to Montreal to visit his sister. Needless to say, we were hard pressed to find any time to hangout.  Continue Reading…

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Filed under AIDS, Dating, Gay, HIV, HIV/AIDS, New York City