Dating Tip #1: Do Not Text Multiple People at the Gym

I have this problem at the gym, I get so bored between sets. I have taken up playing Words with Friends, but even that drives me crazy because it takes people forever to play a damn word! I swear I do have patience, sometimes.

Today, even though I had six games going on and there were three jaw droppingly hot guys to gawk at, I was bored out of my gourd. A set of cables curls and I started to text my friend David. A set of shoulder presses and we talked about the going to see the Scre4m this week. Another set of cable curls and I told him about making eye contact with one of the aforementioned hotties. Ps. Thank you spring for bringing all the boys back to the gym. Thank you! 

Texts, free weights, and laying down some extremely high scoring words, I was feeling popular, smart and hot! In these moments of overextended confidence is when I tend to, figuratively, step in it.

When I was still living in Philly and I had a call back for one of my favorite musicals at one of the biggest theatres in town. This was after I had been lifting for a while and people were noticing a change in my body. What to wear to accentuate my newly acquired bumps? I decided to wear my tight black polo and slim charcoal gray slacks. I thought I looked liked the shit! I walked in to the room, greeted everyone and sang my first number. They all smiled and seemed truly engaged. My ego was exploding. They asked me to sing something else. I knew I was in. This time I thought I would wow them with a comedic song. As soon as I started, they were all laughing. I had them in the palm of my hands. When I left I thought I could concur the world. That was until I looked down. My zipper was so far down and  my pants were so tight that every time I moved you could see my tighty whiteys peek out like an enormous snow cap. One would assume that that alone should have landed me the role. Alas, it did not.

Back to the gym, I got a text from the guy I have a date with tonight, courtesy of OkCupid. I asked him if we could push the date back to 8 instead of 7. Agreed. Set of shoulder shrugs and we decided on a place for our rendezvous.

Between sets of preacher curls and I quickly composed a text to David: “Btw I have another date tonight, so keep your fingers crossed.”

As soon I as hit send, my heart dropped to the pit of my stomach. Instead of sending that text to David, I sent it to my prospective date.

He’s going to think that I wanted to change the time of our date so I can go have another tryst right before we meet. And more importantly, that I had the gall to actually tell him about it. I quickly typed this follow-up: “Ummm…I was sending that to a friend, I wasn’t informing you that I have doubled dipping tonight”

After my next set of upright rows, this appeared on my phone: “Hahaha, wasn’t sure how I was going to respond to that! Sounded Like an incentive to be extra charming!”

Lesson learned. Do not text multiple people at the gym. You will inevitably mix them up.

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Filed under Dating, Gay, New York City, Philadelphia

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