Monthly Archives: March 2011

Damn You Debbie Gibson!

First dates can be tricky to plan. I am not talking about those coffee/drink first dates, they are more like a pre-date. Those are easy, a bar or coffee shop, maybe where nobody really knows you. I am talking about the really real dates. As is my nature, with someone I like, I tend to go a little overboard. Continue reading



Filed under Dating, Gay, New York City, Philip

Muscles, Heels and Taxidermy: My Journey to Pennsyltucky

The day after Philip fell under my stalker spell and agreed to go out on a date with me, I left for my sister’s double wide trailer in south central Pennsylvania to spend the Thanksgiving holiday. This area of Pennsylvania is often referred to as Pensyltucky. I don’t know how it happened but somewhere between Philadelphia and Pittsburgh you arrive in the deep south.

I knew that this Thanksgiving would be a little more strained. Continue reading


Filed under AIDS, Dating, Family, Gay, HIV, HIV/AIDS, Pennsyltucky, Philip

Just An Everyday Thought

Instead of filling you in on the next part of the Philip story, which I was planning on doing, I feel compelled to tell you what happened last night.

Sometimes, out of the blue, I will be hit with a single thought. I am HIV positive. This thought strikes fast and strikes hard. The reality of living with this disease presses upon my entire being. Everything that I have ever seen or heard about HIV or even worse, AIDS, begins to fester in my mind. Feeling like an outcast in my own community. Feeling like I will never get my Jane Austen happy ending, which I, being a hopeless romantic, am desperately looking for. For me, it is almost like reliving the day that I tested positive. Continue reading


Filed under AIDS, Gay, HIV, HIV/AIDS, Yoga

The Island of Mistfit Toys

Bang Bang you’re dead, brush your teeth and go to bed. This childhood statement truly epitomized how I felt after my cyber-stalker email to Philip. I was about to turn off the computer and hop into bed and wallow in my stalker shame, when I saw that I had a new message. It couldn’t be from Philip, could it? My heart started to race. Continue reading


Filed under AIDS, Dating, Gay, HIV, HIV/AIDS, New York City, Philip

I’m Normal, Please Date Me

After the last ole blue eyes sighting, I was angry with myself for not actually speaking to him. I vowed that I would do whatever I could to muster the inner strength to speak to him. Wait, if I treated his eyes like an eclipse and not look directly into them, I would have a better chance of actually forming a coherent sentence. Who cares if I was staring at the floor or counting the tiles on the ceiling, I would be able to talk to him. A plan was starting to form. I spent all week devising my strategy of attack. I was ready. Continue reading


Filed under Dating, Gay, New York City, Philip, Yoga

I Love Yoga!

Since I moved to New York, Mark has been trying to get me to go to his yoga studio. Yoga had never really been my cup of tea. I like to go to the gym and sweat it out not to go to a dark room and chant with strangers. It seemed a little cult like and besides I stopped drinking Kool-Aid in junior high. Continue reading


Filed under Dating, Gay, New York City, Philip, Yoga

The Dating Game

Contestant number one comes to us from Okcupid. He is a filmmaker and yoga teacher. He describes himself as playful and loves to cook. Right off the bat I was intrigued by his profile. Is there any better pairing than a filmmaker and an actor? We chatted about Fassbinder, Yoga, Playwrights, Actors, and we flirted. We decided to meet for coffee. Unfortunately, his pictures were not quite accurate. He wasn’t unattractive. He was just not for me and well, not like his pictures. And he was shorter. One might refer to him as a pocket gay. We had great conversation, but no chemistry. Argh! We said our goodbyes and said the obligatory, “Let’s keep in touch.” Continue reading


Filed under AIDS, Dating, Gay, HIV, HIV/AIDS, New York City