Always Let Your Conscious Be Your Guide

As I re-entered the world of singledom, after the South African, some things became disturbingly clear

I realized that I have a post break-up habit.  Some people get a drastic hair cut. Some people gain or even lose 15 lbs. For me, after a relationship ends I tend to become a true believer in free love.   During which I made good use of all of my gentleman’s socializing networks. I could be found chatting with guys at the gym, at work, at home.  I would even travel the length of Manhattan to partake in an extra long lunch break. Just to clarify, this was NOT my prior lunch date.  Within the midst of my newly rejuvenated spurt of free love, there were a couple observations that shocked and confused me.

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Could’ve Been So Beautiful, Could’ve Been So Right

After the lackluster first sexual encounter with Martin, I was determined that it would indeed get better. After all, we are both attractive men in our mid 30s and we like each other, so there is nothing stopping us from having no-holds-barred-animalistic sex. Right? At least that is what I was hoping for. I like Martin, I really do and I want us to work. I don’t want you to get the wrong impression, but we all know that sex is a fairly large component in a new relationship.

I’m sure you know me well enough by know to know that I had a plan a brewin’. This what I finally decided upon: First, I would stop off and get two gourmet cupcakes. Who doesn’t love a good cupcake? Secondly, I would meet him at his apartment and I would say “First I want to ravage you. Then I want to ravage these.” Brilliant. Sexy. Fun. Sweet. Continue Reading…

Once Bitten, Twice Shy

Even though after Martin returned from his mini trip to Montreal and squashed most of the craziness that was circling around in my brain, we were still having a hard time getting together. And by getting together – I mean having sex. He was busy with school,  I was working a lot and our schedules were not quite meshing. I had never felt so chaste in my life!

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Twitterpation

“Nearly everybody gets twitterpated in the springtime. For example: You’re walking along, minding your own business. You’re looking neither to the left, nor to the right, when all of a sudden you run smack into a pretty face.”

I was still on Cloud  9 for days after my first date with Martin, the South African. Unfortunately for me, Martin, who was in the process of getting his MFA in creative writing, had absolutely no free time. And to make it worse, the following weekend he was going on trip to DC, then had houseguests, and was then taking a long weekend trip to Montreal to visit his sister. Needless to say, we were hard pressed to find any time to hangout.  Continue Reading…

A Hunchback in the Clouds!

They say that spring is the time for lov. It’s rapidly approaching and I have been frustrated with my dating landscape, so I decided to have a little fun on OkCupid For those out there that don’t utilize that site, your profile is basically a collection of the most generic questions possible to describe yourself to a prospective date. These questions include: What Am I Doing With My Life (Seriously? This question sounds like it comes from a disappointed parent.), I’m Really Good At (If you have some spare time, you should read people’s responses, they are hilarious!), and the list goes on from there. Having no recent luck with the site and on-set of spring-like weather, I had a crazy idea. I decided to make my profile into bit of a joke.

 The First Thing People Usually Notice About Me…

….My charming personality or maybe my hunchback, it’s a tossup.

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I’m Not Always the Good Guy

I am not always the good guy. I am not always the guy who, because of being HIV-positive, looses out in love. Sometimes, just sometimes, I find myself in the role of the bad guy.  And when that happens, I don’t know why but I truly commit to that role.

Let me explain.

The tall guy, David, did indeed ask me on a date. It was your typical date: coffee and a movie. He was very sweet, smart and yes, very tall.  After the date, David did the gentlemanly thing to do, and walked me home. Before you ask, I did not invite him up to my apartment, but he did have to lean far down to give me a good night kiss. Continue Reading…

Something New

Ever notice how most New Yorkers (and yes, I consider myself one even though I have only been a resident in this great city for less than two years), do their best to avoid Times Square? If we must be in the area, we concoct a plan to stay far away from the roaming masses of tourists, even if it means we take the most circuitous route to our destination. This avoidance of Times Square becomes even more evident on December 31st.  Last year I even fled the country to be far, far away from the ball and its infamous dropping.

This year I was invited to a party on the fourth floor of an office building overlooking the center of Times Square. Initially, my instinct was to politely decline the invitation and  keep clear of the  crowds. But alas, Brian (one of my best friends) was coming up from Philly for the weekend and once I mentioned the party, it became the one thing he wanted to do. Being the good friend that I am, I acquiesced and we prepared to descend upon the eye of the storm. Continue Reading…

It Was a Bust

It was a bust. Not the type of bust that gay men are oddly attracted to, but rather, my efforts to proclaim my affection for Philip.Unfortunately for me, that was not the only thing that was a bust.

First: Dinner. Philip was going to be a couple minutes late to dinner on his last night in town, so I made the regrettable decision to wait for him in one of the million Starbucks in New York.  When we finally sat down for dinner at one of my favorite places to go in Hell’s Kitchen, which aptly was where we ate on our first date, I was having what can only be referred to as a caffeine fit. Anyone who knows me, knows that I am easily excitable (keep your minds out of the gutter!) and prone to wild gesticulations. When Starbuck’s disastrously strong coffee was added to the mix along side being anxious about telling my feelings to Philip, I was in rare form. Continue reading….

Courage

Courage is something that did not come in my genetic make-up. Don’t get me wrong; when push comes to shove I can become quite protective and stand-up for myself. I did manage to defend myself when attacked by two pre-teen muggers – round-house kicks and all. I am still proud of that moment!

I am the type of person that still gets embarrassed walking in sex shops and I know it’s completely ridiculous but most times I even have my condoms delivered in a little brown box via Amazon.com. If you think that’s bad, I am worse when it comes to matters of the heart. Like any good machine in trouble, I power down. Much like the Cowardly Lion, I run away. And like the Cowardly Lion it wouldn’t be out of the realm of possibilities if I did my big number as I was exiting stage left. Continue reading…

Press Your Luck: An Online Dating Parable

Online dating is tricky. One might even say it is akin to going on a blind date. At least with the latter you are being set up by friends who hopefully have your best interests at heart and not by a random computer equation. It can be quite surprising when X + Z = Y actually solves in your favor.

A major problem with online dating is creating your own profile. It can be overwhelming. You must sound articulate, funny, adventurous, and sexy. It usually takes me at least four drafts before I am remotely satisfied with how I come across. As we all know, there are many MANY people that do not take that sense of pride, or anal retentiveness, in their profiles. I have one thing to say to you budding online daters: Spell Check. To be honest, all that can be over looked with some great photos; it’s shameful but true. Continue Reading…